Happy New Moon!
In the past few weeks I went deep into the Darkness inside of me. It was not fun at all, but it was necessary. And it seems that the worst part is now over.
While dark periods of my life are never particularly pleasant to experience, I keep noticing that I am more capable to ride the storm with grace and a deep sense of peace. Even when doubting myself, noticing destructive behaviours, and generally self-loathing, I'm still somehow at peace. I just go through the motions of hitting a sort-of "rock bottom", confident that this too will pass and I'll eventually emerge on the other side, reborn, recalibrated, and with fresh energy to move forward on my path.
I have a bit of a ritual during these rock-bottom periods - I binge watch four seasons of "Californication" (four has a perfect narrative arc and the show deteriorates afterwards IMO). It is not a masterpiece, and yet it sparks something deep inside of me, while also making me laugh. It's dark, beautiful, ridiculous, and wise. A great cocktail, if you ask me.
Plus it has great letters:
and amazing soundtrack.
And here's the scene, when the main character Hank completes a biography of a rockstar producer.
...
So I spent a few days in bed watching, and somehow it helped.
And then the day of my thirty third birthday came.
I decided to reconnect with acid (my favourite psychedelic), and for the first time ever took it on my own.
I remember when I was growing up that acid was the most demonised drug, right next to heroin. We were told stuff along the lines of "you'll think you can fly and jump off a high building", and similar crap. I somehow ended up trying it anyway, and long story short - I couldn't believe that it's an illegal substance. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the world would be a much better place if substances such as cannabis and lsd would be legal. While they certainly need respect and care, they have incredible healing potential.
Fortunately, it seems that the psychedelic movement is getting traction in recent years. Fingers crossed for more progress in that field.
Anyway, I won't share much about my trip, apart from a note that it reconnected me with the feeling of awe of being alive. I went for a long hike, and witnessed an epic spectacle of nature, which didn't really need any psychedelic enhancement to take my breath away. There was a big rainbow behind me, while I watched the squall-whipped open ocean with clouds dancing in front of the Sun. And there I was, witnessing, reconnected, and alive. What a gift from the universe to be there in that special day in my personal history.
And so it seems that I'm out of the bear cave.
But the big question, of course, is:Â what's next?
I found the Land in my very favourite place in Pico. I found the owner. The owner is awaiting my offer. The next step is to dream up a Vision (in progress), write it down, and set things in motion. This includes reaching out to a few friends who might be willing to invest in the Vision. I'm thinking of sourcing extra capital by selling tokens which can be exchanged for days of stay and tickets for gatherings, festivals and workshops (building tiny houses & geodomes / planting trees etc.). I'm also thinking of releasing long-term stay tokens for a few close friends who might want to have a gateway home in the Azores.
I'm seriously considering starting a new business - talking very small groups on hikes through unexplored, tourist-less trails in Pico. I know quite a few breathtaking spots and I intend to walk more and more in the coming months. I might as well take people on a journey of reconnecting with nature and themselves, and make some money in the process. I'd like to experiment with introducing deeper elements such as cacao ceremonies, forest bathing, meditative walking etc, depending on the group. Perhaps that's the gateway into creating more in-person experiences in Pico.
My digital work is shifting. I'm about to re-launch Procrastination-Free online course via JournalSmarter (that's still part of the previous chapter). I'm also thinking of creating a course / service helping non-technical creators create super simple and super cheap-to-run website with a shop to sell their products (example from Silvia - shop and service, total cost under $30/year). I'll be helping my friends to create a site for their new CBD oils business, and also create a website for my walking business, so I might as well document the process and package it as a course. Hmm...
I'd love to hear from you if any of the ideas above sparked your curiosity / feedback 💜.
A few more ideas are bubbling around, too, but that has to wait for another time. It's getting late and I have another big hike ahead of me tomorrow. Who knows what I'll find on the way?
Sending Love and Light,
Michał
ps. Here's my Moonly Video (youtube link in case the one below doesn’t load properly).